firstnothing (
firstnothing) wrote2014-05-16 09:06 pm
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01
[Twilight marks a new resident in town. Is there a New Feather season anylonger? Xemnas' arrival to Luceti's town center is remarkably unobtrusive save the sense of Darkness that clings to him like a second skin. He'd already determined that leaving will be difficult, if not impossible, so finding out what information he can becomes a priority. And what's one more black cloaked, hooded person walking about? Not even the black and white almost striped little wings stand out much.
He has a few destinations, easily found at any of them on accident or on purpose. The welcome center and the promise of something useful there, then one by one each shop, to mark what's there that might be useful. And then gradually anywhere else in the village, one location at a time. He has all night, it seems, and is in no particular hurry. Rushing about made the joint between skin and feathers on his back ache, and there was no point in causing unnecessary hurt to himself. He already felt a little unwell thanks to pulling out one of the scattered white feathers, still held in one gloved hand. It was his, he was going to keep it.]
He has a few destinations, easily found at any of them on accident or on purpose. The welcome center and the promise of something useful there, then one by one each shop, to mark what's there that might be useful. And then gradually anywhere else in the village, one location at a time. He has all night, it seems, and is in no particular hurry. Rushing about made the joint between skin and feathers on his back ache, and there was no point in causing unnecessary hurt to himself. He already felt a little unwell thanks to pulling out one of the scattered white feathers, still held in one gloved hand. It was his, he was going to keep it.]
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What he's told draws a low thoughtful noise instead of a word. And then he turns and heads for the Welcome Center, gesturing slightly with one gloved hand, clearly intending Ven to follow. It's not exactly far, but it's still going to take several minutes to arrive there. What harm, surely, is there in a little company? Xemnas doesn't SEEM to be causing any problems..]
That's interesting. What is he like, this friend of yours? Where might he be now?
[Such innocent questions.]
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However, he stays silent for at least thirty seconds, torn on how to answer. Does he reiterate what Lea told him? Stick with what he knows?
All he can really say is:]
...I don't know. A friend of mine said he disappeared-- same with me and my friend Aqua, but the last time I checked, both of 'em were just fine. I couldn't tell you what happened to change that.
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[It seems like simple mild curiosity, and truly it might be something like that. A fish for information. Knowing more never hurt, surely.
The delays suggested other things. Discomfort, or perhaps not wanting to tell all. Well, that was fine. Xemnas was after all a stranger, and only a fool would trust someone they just met with everything.]
How terrible it must be, not knowing. When did you last check? Perhaps they wait for you somewhere else.
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[He nods, slowly, eyes dropping to his feet. He slips his hands behind his back and digs the toe of one of his boots into the dirt.]
I'd check if I could, but there's no way to get outta here except to wait and hope for the best. And by then, I'd lose all my memories of this place.
[The thought fills Ven with dread. To lose all the knowledge he's gained and forget all the friendships is a pain he can't bear to face. And yet the alternative's dealing with the fact that his few remaining friends could disappear at the drop of a hat.]
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Why? How did he know he'd lose his memories, anyhow? That seemed a peculiar thing to Xemnas, and there were of course possibilities.. but might as well simply.. ask.]
How do you know you will forget this world?
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[Terra, Aqua, Minako...
Ven brings a hand over his heart, wincing.]
And even the people who do remember say they only got their memories back once they came back.
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[How peculiar. That suggested this world actively removed memories of those who left. Was it the first he'd ever encountered? Would he recall, if it wasn't?]
... Do you find your memories and friendships in this place more precious than the ones you had before arriving here?
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[He steps back, eyes wide and mouth agape. After a couple of seconds, he shuts his eyes and shakes his head frantically.]
I can't just put one set of friends over the other! I mean, Terra and Aqua will always be my best friends, but that doesn't mean I don't care about all the other friends I've made.
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But aren't you already putting one set before the other? Your expression betrayed how much you feared losing your memories of this place.. moreso than the concern over your absent companions.
[One black gloved hand makes a brief negating gesture.]
Which is not to say that you do not care about all your companions. Simply that for those like you, there is an internal scale of which ones are more cherished than others. Which would hurt to lose, and which would be crushing to lose. Acknowledging it does not suddenly render your relationships invalid, does it? What is most precious to your heart? Which would be painful to lose, and which would leave you devastated? What could you not live without?
It is worth thinking about, now and again, to see how one's priorities change.
[There's something carefully deliberate in his words, but chances are good Ven, too unfamiliar with the Nobody, may not even notice it.]
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That's not it!
[He finally manages, turning his eyes back on Xemnas. His face starts to twist into a scowl, and he tips his head back, trying to look more confident than he truly feels inside.]
If I lose all my memories I've made, then how'll I be able to help Terra and Aqua? I'd go back just the way I was, and everything would play out exactly the way Lea said. Terra would...
[He stops himself before even entertaining the thought. It's just too much to bear.]
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[Such a mild tone. It's easy to see the play of doubt and worry, buried briefly by what seems to be indignation .. but likely not genuine. Xemnas' smile is faint and humorless.]
Who is Lea? Doe she or he speak of the future, or of the present?
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It's not just about Terra, it's about Aqua, too. And the worlds...
[Ven hangs his head, his posture growing slack.]
It was the past for Lea, but the future for me. And he said that Radiant Garden got destroyed, along with a whole bunch of other worlds.
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[Xemnas stops his purposeful trek to the welcome center, head tilted back to study the sky, bemused.]
The past can't be changed. You are aware of this. Although it is your future.. as soon as it is someone else's past, it becomes a fixed point in time. Unchangeable. Once it is known, it can't be undone. One would have to ... move beyond the fixed point in time. If your friends and your worlds have been brought to ruination than nothing at all can be done now about what has already been.
[Time travel is a thing however.]
While I am sure it is cold comfort. The best you can hope for is to reach the point beyond their pasts, and create your own unchanging past. Live long enough to be the change you wish to see. This may not actually save anything, of course, but what's done is done. You can only do what isn't yet done.
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[He gulps, wrapping his arms around his chest. If Xemnas pays close attention, he might even notice some slight trembling.
It's a small blessing that Xemnas adds that last bit-- that he can create his own 'unchanging past'. Could that really happen?]
Well, if there is a chance I ever wake up, I guess I've got no choice but to try it. My friends deserve better than to be possessed or... missing. I wanna make sure there's a future for all three of us, one where we can all gaze at the stars like we used to.
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[Would he offer any comfort if he were capable of it?
... Probably not. There is something interesting in observing Ven's reactions and weighing them against how Roxas might have behaved as well. In some ways it wasn't dissimilar - were they really different people?]
Only one sleep lasts forever. The dreamworld of everlasting oblivion is not one ever wakes from.
[Death.]
If you are not dead, then it would be something worth pursuing... if you leave this place behind. An interesting conundrum. But it seems to me if the future you fear is at the time Lea is from ... and you are unfamiliar with the ruination of the worlds, then there is time yet to ... enjoy this place.
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[Totally random tangent on his part, but it's enough to pluck him out of his slump for a split-second.]
And I'm pretty sure I'm not dead! Aqua said something about sleep once, but I dunno the whole story. Just that apparently something happens, and I'm still missing in the future. Oh, and Sora's Nobody looks like me for some reason.
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That world and the one we visit in our dreams are very close, but they are not the same. Dream Eaters are from the sleep we wake from, sooner or later.
[Though Xemnas supposed perhaps in death they remained dreaming. He didn't remember, and could think of no way to query Hades about it. But the God of the Dead might not necessarily understand what it is like to BE dead..]
Mm, well. That's one less difficulty to overcome. But yes you do indeed bear a remarkable resemblance to Sora's Nobody. It is he whom I had mistaken you for. His name is Roxas.
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[And at that, he breathes a soft sigh.]
...Truth is, lots of people have left now. Terra, Aqua, Sora and Kairi, Roxas, Xion, Lea... There's only a handful of us left now.
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[Like twins, Xemnas supposed, save not being raised together. Oh the trouble that would have led to in the Castle, he knows it. Roxas had been dedicated, but he still seemed to have the occasional boyish habits.. which Axel never helped.
Identical boys running about.. well, that would have been Saix's headache to deal with, not his own.]
Were all of them here at once? Truly a mighty gathering. Who remains?
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[He lets out a soft, wistful sort of laugh.]
Right now it's just me, Riku, Riku's Replica, and Mickey. Lea was here for a little while, but he disappeared a few months back.
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It would have to be tested at length. In the future, once he had his own bearings. A new world had its own rules, and Xemnas wanted to know what they were. Afterwards..]
The replica as well? Interesting. I had not known that one had survived.
[The exact opposite in fact.]
So few remain indeed. I will have to ... pay my respects, soon.
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[Hmm... given the coat, this guy might be a Nobody like Axel. But is he good or bad? At this rate, it's just too hard to say. He's been a bit heavy handed with some of his words, but he hasn't done anything wrong.
For now, he'll keep cool and run with it.]
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[It's simple enough an explanation, without malice or even interest. Save that it's a bit misleading; one might assume that he considers them allies when nothing's further from the truth. He did have allies now and again ... but not them.]
But we have encountered each other more than a few times. It would be rude of me to not greet them appropriately.
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[Ven gasps, eyes popping. He lurches forward, placing a hand over his chest.]
But doesn't that get lonely?
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Xemnas has better things to do with his time, like clean his coat. He stops, turning to regard Ven with steady yellow eyes, as if the blond had said he was about to sprout a second head and Xemnas better watch closely.]
There is a vast and important difference between being alone and being lonely. I never feel lonely.
[Because he can't. Which was convenient. All he needed was Kingdom Hearts, the rest of reality could go jump in a hole.]
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[He shakes his head.]
I don't understand. Even if you're one of those guys who doesn't like people, wouldn't it get boring after a while?
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[Again that not-smile; it's just an expression but it does return.]
Friendship is not required to speak to someone, or to visit, or to put an individual to work. I have no use for fun, and I experience neither feeling down nor boredom. They are afflictions for ... others. Your concern is ... touching, but misplaced. Some find great solace in solitude.