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[firstnothing]

[Twilight marks a new resident in town. Is there a New Feather season anylonger? Xemnas' arrival to Luceti's town center is remarkably unobtrusive save the sense of Darkness that clings to him like a second skin. He'd already determined that leaving will be difficult, if not impossible, so finding out what information he can becomes a priority. And what's one more black cloaked, hooded person walking about? Not even the black and white almost striped little wings stand out much.

He has a few destinations, easily found at any of them on accident or on purpose. The welcome center and the promise of something useful there, then one by one each shop, to mark what's there that might be useful. And then gradually anywhere else in the village, one location at a time. He has all night, it seems, and is in no particular hurry. Rushing about made the joint between skin and feathers on his back ache, and there was no point in causing unnecessary hurt to himself. He already felt a little unwell thanks to pulling out one of the scattered white feathers, still held in one gloved hand. It was his, he was going to keep it.]

Comments

[firstnothing]

I see.

[How peculiar. That suggested this world actively removed memories of those who left. Was it the first he'd ever encountered? Would he recall, if it wasn't?]

... Do you find your memories and friendships in this place more precious than the ones you had before arriving here?

[risingwinds]

Huh?

[He steps back, eyes wide and mouth agape. After a couple of seconds, he shuts his eyes and shakes his head frantically.]

I can't just put one set of friends over the other! I mean, Terra and Aqua will always be my best friends, but that doesn't mean I don't care about all the other friends I've made.

[firstnothing]

[Xemnas clasps his hands behind his back, expression thoughtful. It seems the boy never even considered it that way.]

But aren't you already putting one set before the other? Your expression betrayed how much you feared losing your memories of this place.. moreso than the concern over your absent companions.

[One black gloved hand makes a brief negating gesture.]

Which is not to say that you do not care about all your companions. Simply that for those like you, there is an internal scale of which ones are more cherished than others. Which would hurt to lose, and which would be crushing to lose. Acknowledging it does not suddenly render your relationships invalid, does it? What is most precious to your heart? Which would be painful to lose, and which would leave you devastated? What could you not live without?

It is worth thinking about, now and again, to see how one's priorities change.

[There's something carefully deliberate in his words, but chances are good Ven, too unfamiliar with the Nobody, may not even notice it.]

[risingwinds]

[He tries to speak, but all he manages is a short squeak before averting his eyes. His hands clench and unclench, and he gulps. How's he supposed to even explain himself? This man's words pierce him like bullets one by one. And to think that this is all coming from a guy who looks so much like Terra...]

That's not it!

[He finally manages, turning his eyes back on Xemnas. His face starts to twist into a scowl, and he tips his head back, trying to look more confident than he truly feels inside.]

If I lose all my memories I've made, then how'll I be able to help Terra and Aqua? I'd go back just the way I was, and everything would play out exactly the way Lea said. Terra would...

[He stops himself before even entertaining the thought. It's just too much to bear.]

[firstnothing]

One's ability to assist, or move forward, is not rooted in memory. Do you ... truly ... believe if you lacked memory of this place, you would not feel compelled to offer a hand to those precious to you? Surely the heart is stronger than that.

[Such a mild tone. It's easy to see the play of doubt and worry, buried briefly by what seems to be indignation .. but likely not genuine. Xemnas' smile is faint and humorless.]

Who is Lea? Doe she or he speak of the future, or of the present?

[risingwinds]

I... No! 'Course not! I'd help no matter what, but if I don't know what'll happen, then how am I supposed to know how to help?

It's not just about Terra, it's about Aqua, too. And the worlds...

[Ven hangs his head, his posture growing slack.]

It was the past for Lea, but the future for me. And he said that Radiant Garden got destroyed, along with a whole bunch of other worlds.

[firstnothing]

I am told the best course is to ... mm, trust your heart. But the matter of the future.. or the past. That is a more difficult thing.

[Xemnas stops his purposeful trek to the welcome center, head tilted back to study the sky, bemused.]

The past can't be changed. You are aware of this. Although it is your future.. as soon as it is someone else's past, it becomes a fixed point in time. Unchangeable. Once it is known, it can't be undone. One would have to ... move beyond the fixed point in time. If your friends and your worlds have been brought to ruination than nothing at all can be done now about what has already been.

[Time travel is a thing however.]

While I am sure it is cold comfort. The best you can hope for is to reach the point beyond their pasts, and create your own unchanging past. Live long enough to be the change you wish to see. This may not actually save anything, of course, but what's done is done. You can only do what isn't yet done.

[risingwinds]

...then it really can't be changed?

[He gulps, wrapping his arms around his chest. If Xemnas pays close attention, he might even notice some slight trembling.

It's a small blessing that Xemnas adds that last bit-- that he can create his own 'unchanging past'. Could that really happen?]

Well, if there is a chance I ever wake up, I guess I've got no choice but to try it. My friends deserve better than to be possessed or... missing. I wanna make sure there's a future for all three of us, one where we can all gaze at the stars like we used to.

[firstnothing]

It cannot.

[Would he offer any comfort if he were capable of it?

... Probably not. There is something interesting in observing Ven's reactions and weighing them against how Roxas might have behaved as well. In some ways it wasn't dissimilar - were they really different people?]

Only one sleep lasts forever. The dreamworld of everlasting oblivion is not one ever wakes from.

[Death.]

If you are not dead, then it would be something worth pursuing... if you leave this place behind. An interesting conundrum. But it seems to me if the future you fear is at the time Lea is from ... and you are unfamiliar with the ruination of the worlds, then there is time yet to ... enjoy this place.

[risingwinds]

Dreamworld? Hey, is that where Dream Eaters come from?

[Totally random tangent on his part, but it's enough to pluck him out of his slump for a split-second.]

And I'm pretty sure I'm not dead! Aqua said something about sleep once, but I dunno the whole story. Just that apparently something happens, and I'm still missing in the future. Oh, and Sora's Nobody looks like me for some reason.

[firstnothing]

[There's that low chuckle, though somehow it doesn't seem to have actual humor in it.]

That world and the one we visit in our dreams are very close, but they are not the same. Dream Eaters are from the sleep we wake from, sooner or later.

[Though Xemnas supposed perhaps in death they remained dreaming. He didn't remember, and could think of no way to query Hades about it. But the God of the Dead might not necessarily understand what it is like to BE dead..]

Mm, well. That's one less difficulty to overcome. But yes you do indeed bear a remarkable resemblance to Sora's Nobody. It is he whom I had mistaken you for. His name is Roxas.

[risingwinds]

Yeah, I know! He and I were friends before he left.

[And at that, he breathes a soft sigh.]

...Truth is, lots of people have left now. Terra, Aqua, Sora and Kairi, Roxas, Xion, Lea... There's only a handful of us left now.

[firstnothing]

Did you find it odd, interacting with someone who resembles you so closely?

[Like twins, Xemnas supposed, save not being raised together. Oh the trouble that would have led to in the Castle, he knows it. Roxas had been dedicated, but he still seemed to have the occasional boyish habits.. which Axel never helped.

Identical boys running about.. well, that would have been Saix's headache to deal with, not his own.]

Were all of them here at once? Truly a mighty gathering. Who remains?

[risingwinds]

Well, it was sorta weird at first. I mean, here was this guy who looked and sounded just like me, but he's from the future and had been here for years before I ever popped up.

[He lets out a soft, wistful sort of laugh.]

Right now it's just me, Riku, Riku's Replica, and Mickey. Lea was here for a little while, but he disappeared a few months back.

[firstnothing]

[And now Roxas is gone. How had the two existed side by side? What was the connection?

It would have to be tested at length. In the future, once he had his own bearings. A new world had its own rules, and Xemnas wanted to know what they were. Afterwards..]

The replica as well? Interesting. I had not known that one had survived.

[The exact opposite in fact.]

So few remain indeed. I will have to ... pay my respects, soon.

[risingwinds]

Oh, are you friends with 'em?

[Hmm... given the coat, this guy might be a Nobody like Axel. But is he good or bad? At this rate, it's just too hard to say. He's been a bit heavy handed with some of his words, but he hasn't done anything wrong.

For now, he'll keep cool and run with it.]

[firstnothing]

I have no friends. Merely allies, on occasion.

[It's simple enough an explanation, without malice or even interest. Save that it's a bit misleading; one might assume that he considers them allies when nothing's further from the truth. He did have allies now and again ... but not them.]

But we have encountered each other more than a few times. It would be rude of me to not greet them appropriately.

[risingwinds]

No friends?

[Ven gasps, eyes popping. He lurches forward, placing a hand over his chest.]

But doesn't that get lonely?

[firstnothing]

[Why it was such a shock he didn't quite grasp. Some people had many friends. Other people had absolutely no use for them, no interest in having them, and avoided the complicated issue of trying to guess what someone else's heart is up to long enough to make 'friendships' to begin with.

Xemnas has better things to do with his time, like clean his coat. He stops, turning to regard Ven with steady yellow eyes, as if the blond had said he was about to sprout a second head and Xemnas better watch closely.]

There is a vast and important difference between being alone and being lonely. I never feel lonely.

[Because he can't. Which was convenient. All he needed was Kingdom Hearts, the rest of reality could go jump in a hole.]

[risingwinds]

Never? But that can't be right. Being alone means you don't have anybody else to talk to. Nobody to have fun with, nobody to turn to when you're feeling down...

[He shakes his head.]

I don't understand. Even if you're one of those guys who doesn't like people, wouldn't it get boring after a while?

[firstnothing]

I am talking to someone right now, am I not?

[Again that not-smile; it's just an expression but it does return.]

Friendship is not required to speak to someone, or to visit, or to put an individual to work. I have no use for fun, and I experience neither feeling down nor boredom. They are afflictions for ... others. Your concern is ... touching, but misplaced. Some find great solace in solitude.